You may have heard that January is dubbed “Divorce Month.” However, while the post-holiday season may be a time when people seriously consider divorce, March, August, and September are the months when the most divorces are filed in California.

There are several reasons for this, which we discuss below. We’ll also dig into some of the most common reasons why people divorce and what marital years tend to be the most stressful, which can also lead to filing a divorce.

Spring & Fall Are California’s Divorce Seasons

While January may be a popular month for couples to seek divorce mediation or counseling, they don’t usually file until around March. This is when we see record highs for divorce filings, which also seem to surge around August and September.

Top Reasons People Get Divorced In March & August/September

Concentrated time together is a trigger, as evidenced by the pandemic years, which spanned 2020 – 2022. Divorce proceedings took place at record numbers during those years for the same reasons couples are more likely to file for a divorce during spring and late summer to early fall.

Concentrated time together brings issues to a head

People are busy, and children have never participated in so many extracurricular activities as they do now. With most households containing two working parents and busy kids, there isn’t a whole lot of concentrated family time and even less concentrated “couple time.” As a result, it’s easier for couples to shove their issues under the rug or to just feel too busy to do anything about their problems.

The holidays bring about more time off, and this downtime allows couples to experience just how strained their marriage really is. Other factors also come to a head around the holiday season, forcing the hand. 

Some of these include differences around:

• How to manage finances.
• Alcohol or recreational drug consumption (which could lead to changes in custody arrangements or supervised visitation).
• Parenting strategies.

By the time couples determine they want to proceed with the divorce, it’s March—and family law professionals refer to this as “The January Effect.”

Summertime has the same effect. As couples take time off for both vacations and staycations, the fact they feel tense, irritated, or angry with one another becomes impossible to hide. One or the other is bound to announce they want a divorce. Thus, we see the same type of January Effect, but it takes place in August and September.

It’s the start of a brand-new year

January brings the start of a new year, and many people take this opportunity to clear out the old and make new resolutions for a better life. If they’ve been struggling to make their marriage work, moving forward with a divorce may become one or the other’s New Year’s resolution. 

The Institute of Family Studies reports that before about 15 to 20 years of marriage, 25% of all married people think about getting a divorce at one time or another. Of these, about half have thought about getting a divorce for about a year, and roughly 5% say they consider their marriage 100% over – with no chance of being saved.

It’s these chronic divorce thinkers who are most likely to use a new year to catalyze moving into a legitimate separation or divorce.

A change in schools may be part of the divorce

We mentioned that all that summer break together can catalyze the August and September divorcees. But, there may be another reason that’s more linked to the kids. 

If the summertime stretch was too much for a fragile marriage to hangle, upcoming changes might mean a change in schools or districts for the kids. While this can be tricky, parents who are planning a move that would affect school zones or transportation. Filing in August or September, just at the start of a new school year, can legitimize the need for the transfer or new enrollment.

Biggest Factors That Lead To Divorce

Couples may decide to get divorced at any point in their marriage. However, certain periods of a marriage are considered “higher risk” when it comes to divorce. These include:

• The first two years of marriage.
• Years five through eight (often described as “the seven-year itch.”
• After the children grow up and move out of the house.

While there are exceptions, most divorces are caused by tensions or irreconcilable differences around:

Lack of connection or intimacy

Most couples can work through “the doldrums,” or a period of time when there’s no breeze in the relationship. One or both partners may feel neglected emotionally or physically. While this is very common during the childbearing years, it can happen at any point in a marriage. 

We highly recommend all couples considering a divorce pursue individual and couples therapy with a therapist you both like and trust. Divorce is often avoided when both people are willing to put down their armor and openly communicate. 

Fidelity (or monogamy)

This is a very challenging thing for a monogamous person to get over. Again, marriage therapy can be invaluable here. Regardless of what you decide to do, remember that adult business should always be kept separate from co-parenting business. Children fare best emotionally and mentally when parents can rise above and use healthy co-parenting practices.

Financial beliefs or practices

Money is a major subject of marital arguments. If someone is out of work or the household has financial struggles, arguments are more common. The same is true if one person spends more money than the other. 

For a marriage to survive, both partners must have shared goals for their future together. By default, this means they must be united in their financial goals/management strategies. 

Plans for the future

While this may crop up in the first ten years or so, especially if one person wants children and the other decides they don’t, differences around future plans are a common root of “gray divorces.”

Gray divorces describe a divorce in couples 50+ who have been married for decades. Typically, the above three causes are factors. However, differences in how to spend their retirement can cause significant rifts in what was formerly a seemingly solid partnership. One or the other partner may also desire to get divorced after raising the family because they never really wanted to be married – or married to their spouse – in the first place.

The reason(s) you got married

Sometimes divorces happen because one or the other partner finally acknowledges they never wanted to get married in the first place. This happens for a number of reasons. In some cases, a pregnancy is involved. For others, marriage may happen to please parents or to conform to societal norms. 

Regardless, saving a marriage founded on a false or misaligned foundation can be very challenging or impossible.

Schedule Divorce Mediation At The Law Offices of Gerard A. Falzone

As we head into the fall, we’re noticing an increase in requests for divorce mediation, which is a more neutral, less stressful, and more affordable way to pursue a divorce in California. Couples who use mediation not only save thousands (or tens of thousands) of dollars in legal fees, but they also get through the process with far less overall emotionally damaging fallout for themselves and their children.

Contact The Law Offices of Gerard A. Falzone to start learning more about divorce mediation. I’ve helped individuals and couples move smoothly and efficiently through the challenges of divorcing for more than 40 years. Let’s have a conversation and see whether I’m a good fit for your situation.