The Role Of Social Media During Divorce Proceedings

Adults should always be careful about what they post on social media because the record is there for all to see, including prospective employers. Now, family law judges pay closer attention to social media posts when making decisions about pending divorce, child custody, visitation, and child support/spousal support hearings.

As people become more impulsive and less thoughtful about posts – or don’t think to check peers’, family, or friends’ posts – social posts admitted as evidence in court are increasingly used as evidence against petitioners/responders in your divorce or child custody hearings.

Do NOT Do This On Social Media During Divorce Proceedings

Everyone should be mindful of their public image and how it can affect them, but this is especially true before, during, and after divorce proceedings. Depending on the evidence copied and pasted to be used against you, you may find yourself:

In contempt of court or facing perjury charges.
Losing child custody or visitation rights.
Paying more in child or spousal support.
Owing backpay for child/spousal support (paid with 10% interest to the recipient).
Facing criminal charges.

Here are five things you should never do when using social media.

Disparage your spouse/child’s parent or post info about proceedings

Judges frown on immature, disparaging, or slanderous behavior from petitioners or respondents. No matter how mad or hurt you are by your spouse, never disparage them on social media. It automatically casts you in a poor light, which can continue to haunt you throughout the divorce proceedings. If your children have social media access, disparaging their other parent(s) may come back around to them, and that can be disastrous.

Secondly, keep the details of the case private. While much of the information about the court proceedings becomes part of the public record, posting things publicly is considered uncivil and also casts a shadow on your integrity. If you’re dating someone new, and there are inappropriate posts about the two of you (partying, drinking, using drugs, etc.) this can also get you into trouble – including restrictions around your new partner being around when you have the kids.

Post or be part of a post that depicts you drunk, partying, participating in illicit activities, etc.

Yes, everyone deserves a night out; there is nothing illegal about going out and having a good time (unless you’re caught on film/post doing something illegal). However, these images and posts can be detrimental in a battle around child custody or visitation rights.

While the court does its best to support 50/50 custody – or close to it – whenever it can, first and foremost, family law courts support children’s best interests. If your ex’s lawyer supports evidence from your own social media posts or those from your network, they could cost you time with your children, which also adds up to more child support you’ll have to pay.

Lie about the reason you’re postponing/canceling a visit with your child

If you tell your child’s other parent you can’t honor the visitation agreement due to a work event or family emergency, make sure it’s the truth. Because if they see a post anywhere online that you were actually doing something else, that can be used against you. Remember that while you can control what you post, you have no control over what your friends and outer-layer acquaintances post.

Things come up, life happens, and the ideal is that parents can work together on (in writing) trades/makeups, etc. However, honesty is always the best policy, or you could find yourself with less time available with your children. And, as we mentioned in #1, children with access to social media also find out you’re lying, which sets a horrible precedent and can destroy their trust in you.

Post pictures of work or side jobs if you’ve claimed unemployment

It’s not uncommon for people who work under the table or pick up side jobs to be dishonest about their income to avoid maximum child support payments. This is a huge mistake. First, it’s dishonest and illegal. Always be honest about your employment situation and income, as digital records can come back to haunt you, and penalty payments are staggering.

Second, anyone can hire a private investigator to follow you and find out otherwise. But these days, P.I.s are needed less and less due to irresponsible social media posting. A single post that shows/mentions you at work, boasting about things you’ve bought for yourself or your new partner (when you claim to have no money), or otherwise indicates you have an income you didn’t report (or lied about) is evidence and can be used to collect back-owed support with hefty interest.

Post anything with your children that makes you look irresponsible

Were you and your kids swimming in a river clearly stating “no swimming due to strong current?” Did you take your child on vacation out of the state – or country – without prior written permission from their other parent? Is there a post showing you and your children at a celebration with people who are clearly drunk, high, or with paraphernalia in the background?

Anything that remotely hints that your children are not safe or are at all at risk while in your custody is solid grounds for stripping you from custody or visitation without supervision.

Tips For Social Media Posts During & After Divorce

If you’re in the process of getting divorced or fighting for child custody, there are things you can do to keep social media from working against you:

Clean up the account

Delete any posts that could be remotely incriminating, or that cast you in a negative light. Ask friends and family to do the same.

Take a break or keep things very professional

If you wouldn’t want prospective employers, your grandmother, or a police officer to see the post, don’t post it.

Google yourself with parentheses, using any potential names, nicknames, or initials, and see what shows up. You may be surprised to see photos you never knew were public. If anything could count against you, try to get it removed.

Keep all digital communication in line

We’re discussing social media in this post, but all digital communication can be used against you. That includes texts, emails, voicemails, websites, internet history, etc.

The Law Offices of Gerard A. Falzone Keeps Social Media Out Of It

Pursuing mediation, rather than litigation, is the best way to avoid social media being used against you during divorce or child custody proceedings. Mediation can save you thousands of dollars, months of wasted time, and unnecessary negative energy, and keep things on the higher road.

Contact The Law Offices of Gerard A. Falzone to learn more about moving through your divorce or child custody proceedings with as little tension, angst, or negativity as possible.

Grandparents’ Rights In Divorce & Custody Cases

grandparents rights in divorce custody cases

There are so many considerations when planning to divorce and navigating child custody in a way that keeps the children’s best interests at heart. One of the most overlooked aspects of any divorce is the grandparents’ roles after the divorce. Clients often ask:

Do grandparents have visitation or custody rights?
Can grandparents be granted full or part-time custody?
Should grandparent visits be part of the child custody and visitation agreement?
Can a grandparent be legally denied visitation with a child?

If you are a grandparent or you are concerned your spouse may not uphold visitation with grandparents after a divorce, schedule a consultation with a family law specialist ASAP.

Steps To Protect Grandparents’ Visitation (Or Custody) Rights After A Divorce

Every situation is different, so consulting with a lawyer is critical if you want legal documents specifying anything related to grandparent custody or visitation. As with step-parents, there is nothing inherently automatic about visitation rights for grandparents – even if they’ve been a regular part of the children’s lives.

If these decisions aren’t made during the divorce proceedings, paperwork can be filed after the fact, but this is not advised. To protect the children’s best interests, these decisions should be made and legally documented – or decided by the courts – during the divorce proceedings so everyone can move forward afterward.

Schedule a consultation with a family law mediator

First, we recommend scheduling consultations with a family law mediator. Mediators are licensed family law attorneys who use a fee-based schedule, prioritizing the ease, efficiency, and cost-effectiveness of keeping divorce proceedings out of the contentious courtroom.

Research shows that the emotional and mental well-being of children (and adults) improves when divorces are as respectful and amicable as possible. Your mediator can help you establish sound, sensible guidelines for incorporating grandparent visits and traditions into the child custody and visitation agreement to take that worry off the table.

Petition for visitation rights

If one spouse or the other is hedging for some reason, grandparents have the right to petition for visitation rights through the courts. In this case, the courts review everyone’s input and information and make their decision. This is only the case if parents are never married, are separated or divorced, and do not live in the same home. If parents are married and live together, grandparents cannot usually petition the court for visitation (there are exceptions, but your attorney can work through them with you if that scenario applies to you).

Not surprisingly, the court’s focus is always on the children’s best interests. When reviewing the petition, they’ll consider multiple factors:

The children’s age
Children’s wishes (the older the child, the more the child respects their opinion and input).
Historical visitation and relationship scenarios. For example, if the children have always spent time with grandparents during the summer, gone to weekly or monthly meals/overnights, or shared holiday or birthday traditions – these types of things are typically viewed as healthy to maintain. The court is likely to make that part of their ruling.
The child’s relationship with their custodial parent(s) or guardian(s).
A parent’s opposition to visitation (any indication of abuse, travel issues, historical conflicts that impact a child’s well-being at a grandparent’s home, etc.).

In addition to the children’s well-being, courts pay special attention when a parent intentionally blocks visitation. The court prioritizes parental rights and weighs parental input heavily. They’ll listen carefully to the current and historical evidence, and decide accordingly.

Ultimately, as the CA Family Law Court states on its website:

…the judge can only order reasonable visitation if they find that there’s an existing bond between grandparents and child and the child’s best interest outweighs the opposing parent’s rights.

Grandparents as legal guardians

Then, there is the scenario where grandparents feel their grandchild(ren)’s wellbeing is at risk with either parent. In this case, grandparents have the right to petition for legal guardianship. While there is a difference in the forms you complete and file with the court.

In this case, it’s the grandparent(s)’ responsibility to prove that the child’s health, well-being, and safety are in danger with either parent. This may be due to a history of abuse or addiction or because a mental or physical health issue makes it impossible for the parent to care for the child properly.

If there is any way you can get the parents to agree to the guardianship, we highly encourage this route. A family law mediator is your best asset in mediating conversations, highlighting the court’s standard views on varying scenarios, and presenting ideas around guardianship, visitation, etc., based on our experience with other families.

In the case mediation isn’t an option, consult with a family law attorney specializing in guardianship to ensure you have all of the evidence required to support and strengthen your case. If parents oppose the petition for guardianship, you want to hire the best lawyer you can afford, as these trials are awful for the children. You want the best resolution possible, as quickly as possible, to minimize the impact on the children.

Learn More About Grandparent Visitation At The Law Offices Of Gerard Falzone

Are you worried your child’s divorce will affect your relationship with a grandchild? As parents, are you interested in putting grandparent visitation stipulations into the child custody and visitation agreements? Or, are you a grandparent interested in pursuing legal guardianship of your grandchild(ren)?

Contact the Law Offices of Gerard Falzone and schedule a consultation. Our offices always prioritize mediation and collaborative methods, focusing on keeping the stress, contention, and unnecessary costs out of the divorce and child custody proceedings.

The Importance Of Communication In Co-Parenting After A Divorce

the importance of communication in co-parenting after a divorce Co-parenting is never easy and is particularly challenging during and after a heated divorce. However, your children are innocent victims, and experts are unwaveringly clear that healthy co-parenting is the key to protecting your children’s mental and emotional well-being.

There is no excuse for anything other than prioritizing the children’s best interests and making healthy co-parenting a priority. This means keeping children-first co-parenting communication at the forefront of all you do before, during, and after your divorce.

Healthy Co-Parenting After A Divorce Is Essential To Your Child’s Wellbeing

Studies prove time and time again that divorces make children more prone to:

Anxiety
Depression
Lower self-esteem and insecurity
Academic struggles
Behavioral issues
Developing substance abuse issues

Putting your children’s well-being first during your divorce goes a long way toward making children feel more safe, seen, heard, and loved.

5 Tips For Healthy Co-Parenting Communication

After more than 30 years of helping families navigate divorce proceedings in the smoothest way possible and with the least harm done, I’ve seen firsthand how crucial co-parenting communication is for childhood health and well-being in both the short and long term.

Here are my tips for healthy co-parenting communication during and after a divorce.

Prioritize mediation or collaborative divorce procedures

Do all you can to use divorce mediation and avoid lengthy, drawn-out disputes whenever possible. The longer you are in limbo, the more stressful it is for your children. If mediation isn’t working, then look for collaborative divorce attorneys so you benefit from individual representation but with a unified goal of minimizing contention, disputes, or other stressful scenarios that trickle down onto the kids.

You do not “lose out” in any way when pursuing mediation or collaboration. In all of the proceedings I’ve facilitated, clients are ultimately grateful that – in addition to saving thousands of dollars – their divorce was finalized faster, with more integrity, and with less extended drama on the home front.

Use the same family therapist and continue going

The idea that a divorce is a final ending is a myth – especially if you have children. The legal marriage may have ended, but your role as your children’s father and mother (or step-parent) never ends. In other words, you owe it to your children to create a new version of your family – and one in which they can feel as comfortable as possible in one home, the other, or at joint celebrations and extracurricular activities.

Maybe therapy didn’t work to save your marriage. Still, I can guarantee the right therapist can save your new, co-parenting family while supporting everyone’s emotional health and resilience in a very new family structure. Using the same therapist is invaluable. It keeps stories unified, and by getting to know each parent’s (or their partner’s) dynamics, your children’s needs and wants are better honored and facilitated. Your divorce mediation or collaborative attorney can provide you with a list of their recommended therapists.

Honor the final divorce agreement as soon as possible

While your marriage is legally dissolved six months after filing the Dissolution of Marriage, most divorce agreements have a “list of things to do” and a timeline to get them done. It’s not uncommon for some (or all) of these to sit on the backburner because both parties experience post-divorce proceeding fatigue.

However, the longer you avoid what needs to be done after a divorce, the more likely it is to become part of your children’s experience. They’ll sense your stress, overhear you talking about things to family and friends, or listen to you or your ex-spouse talking about the other person (a HUGE no-no in co-parenting). Equally harmful, children may witness the two of you arguing or fighting like you used to – even though the divorce is final. In which case, they understandably wonder why you bothered divorcing in the first place, adding to their emotional confusion.

Take action and clear up all loose ends ASAP to keep co-parenting channels as clear as possible.

Never disrespect your ex-spouse or talk about their child custody/visitation failures

This is not easy. Not by a long shot. However, speaking poorly or disrespectfully about your spouse to your children (even older teenagers or young adults) is emotionally toxic. Even if your children speak ill of them, it’s best to remain silent – supporting your child’s feelings but never participating in parent bashing.

Similarly, avoid the temptation to tell children parts of the story that are not their business – like their parent isn’t paying what they owe in child support, is not honoring their child custody agreement, etc. These do nothing but cause pain for your child. Your job is to listen to and honor your child’s feelings without contributing to co-parenting slander. I guarantee that if you do this, your children will be forever grateful to you.

Take advantage of co-parenting apps

Having a hard time speaking to your ex-spouse? This is not uncommon, especially in the earlier days after the divorce. Hopefully, time, self-awareness, and diligent emotional work should ease that a bit. In the meantime, several co-parenting apps are worth their proverbial weight in gold when it comes to everything from child visitation schedules, extra-curricular calendars, or other reminders that are part of every family dynamic – married or divorced. Other helpful features include photo sharing, digital files for important medical/health/insurance info, etc.

A few of our client’s favorite co-parenting apps are:

Our Family Wizard.
Cozi (this wasn’t initially a co-parenting app, but many divorced couples appreciate its functions, including the ability to add older children, grandparents, or other primary caregivers).
2 Houses.
Many others are available online.

Having one spot for all of this helps to mitigate the amount of time spent communicating/arguing about who told each other what OR the “who does more” in the emotional labor department – which can bring the past right back into your laps… precisely what you don’t want after a divorce is final.

The Law Offices of Gerard A. Falzone Offers Mediation for Better Co-Parenting

Our Bay Area family law offices are 100% dedicated to making divorces as stress-free and integrity-rich as possible. This includes a deep dedication to minimizing any negative effects on our clients’ children. Contact the Law Offices of Gerard A Falzone to begin moving forward.

Let us help you navigate your divorce – no matter how challenging – in a way that keeps family first and supports the importance of communication in co-parenting after a divorce.

Collaborative Divorce: An Alternative To Divorce Litigation

collaborative divorce an alternative to divorce litigation Typically we advocate for divorce mediation as an affordable and less stressful alternative to a courtroom battle. However, sometimes couples feel they need their own representation rather than that of a divorce mediator; in that case, we recommend learning more about collaborative divorces.

Collaborative divorce is an alternative to divorce litigation, which can be draining financially and emotionally. Also, we highly advise staying out of a courtroom/litigation if you have children.

The Basics Of A Collaborative Divorce

With mediation, a lawyer is a neutral party hired by two people to work through their divorce. If there are areas of contention or debate, or feelings/emotions are so high that mediation doesn’t feel like it will work, a collaborative divorce is the next best option.

With this divorce, each party hires their own lawyer so they feel their interests are fully represented. However, rather than meeting in a courtroom before a judge (which wastes thousands of dollars via legal billing and courtroom fees), the individuals and lawyers meet together to work through the divorce settlement agreements, including any child custody, visitation, or support terms.

Another unique feature of a collaborative divorce proceeding is that both parties – and their lawyers – agree ahead of time that they will not resort to litigation. If one or both parties change their minds and decide to pursue litigation, they must find new lawyers to continue.

Finally, many collaborative divorce proceedings involve a neutral team of experts, including marriage and family therapists, financial planners, and divorce coaches depending on the client’s situation. All of these professionals are dedicated to keeping the process as efficient and stress-free as possible.

Benefits of a Collaborative Divorce vs. Divorce Litigation

There are multiple benefits of pursuing collaborative divorce over courtroom litigation.

Collaborative divorces are better for your children & family

Mediation or collaboration should be the only option if any minor children are involved. Lawyers specializing in collaborative divorces are dedicated to supporting the emotional health of everyone – especially children.

Numerous studies show the more contentious divorce proceedings, the harder it is for children. Divorce is harmful to young children and almost always takes an emotional toll. Even in the most equitable divorce, children report feeling anxious, less confident, and sad. They also experience challenges at school. Supporting your children’s and step-children’s well-being is a top priority in a collaborative divorce.

We also recommend reading our post, 5 Tips For Helping Children Cope With Divorce.

You’ll save thousands of dollars

Collaborative divorces cost more than mediation but significantly less than the average divorce litigation process. According to Nolo, the average cost of a traditional divorce ranges from $15,000 to $26,000 – and that’s outside of the courtroom. Cases that go to court cost an average of $25,000 or more.

Collaborative divorce aims to make fair and equitable decisions across the board, with the well-being of any children at the core, and to complete the proceedings as swiftly as possible. Experts state that the average collaborative divorce costs about $10,000 to $15,000 – but those fees are split between parties.

The proceedings are confidential

Divorce court is a public arena. Everything that is said or happens there becomes part of the public record. Divorce mediation and collaboration are handled in confidential offices and conference rooms, so your personal information is only exposed to the lawyers or other professionals comprising the collaborative team. All of them are sworn to uphold confidentiality.

The goal is to minimize interpersonal conflict and emotional strain

Unfortunately, the family law courtroom has become a hotbed of drama, conflict, and emotional strain, and that is part of why it takes such a huge toll on those who participate in that realm – lawyers included.

The overarching goal of divorce collaboration is to ease the interpersonal conflict and emotional strain as much as possible so you can both move forward with your lives. Lawyers specializing in collaborative divorce know that things will get heated in certain moments, and they’re experienced at de-escalating heated emotions and redirecting the conversation positively and productively – including taking breaks whenever necessary.

How To Choose A Collaborative Divorce Attorney

Hiring an experienced collaborative divorce team is the key to a successful collaborative divorce. Not all divorce attorneys choose to practice collaborative divorce because some appreciate the higher billing potential available through more traditional, litigation-based proceedings.

To choose the best collaborative divorce attorney:

Look for Bay Area lawyers who specialize or solely practice using mediation or collaborative methods.
Take advantage of free consultations with at least three to five lawyers or collaborative teams before deciding which is best for you.
Use consultations to learn more about the process. They can be especially educational in helping you prepare for your first real session with your collaborative divorce layers.
Ask for recent client referrals to learn more about how the process was for them. We do not recommend relying on online reviews when searching for family law professionals. Word of mouth is more trustworthy.
Choose a lawyer with experience in any unique circumstances you may have, such as making decisions around child visitation and child custody in blended families, when a family business is part of the decision-making, etc.

Contact The Law Offices Of Gerard A. Falzone & Work For A Collaborative Divorce Process

Are you interested in saving money while also moving through a divorce as painlessly as possible? The Law Offices of Gerard A. Falzone has worked for more than 30 years to keep personal conflicts to a minimum and is not interested in facilitating courtroom battles.

We exclusively handle mediation and collaborative divorce proceedings. Contact us to schedule a consultation and determine whether or not we’re a good fit for you.

Understanding The Divorce Process: A Step-By-Step Guide

understanding the divorce process a step by step guide The more you understand and prepare for the divorce process, the more streamlined it can be. This guide serves as a basic guide as you move forward with your divorce process. If two people can come to general agreements around key areas, it makes the entire divorce move more efficiently – and affordably.

In most cases, it’s the roller coaster ride of emotions that makes a divorce complex. That’s especially true when children are involved, or one person wants to get divorced while the other doesn’t. Infidelity or hidden habits/debts are additional reasons that divorces become contentious.

Quick Guide To The Divorce Process

This guide is designed to support the black-and-white “business” of divorce, which is made easier because California is both a no-fault divorce and a community property state. In other words, much of the divorce outcome is already decided by the family law court system. It’s just a matter of getting it onto paper, filing it through the legal channels, and moving forward from there.

Easier said than done, right? We hope that by reviewing the following steps, you’re prepared to move forward with a divorce to keep it as streamlined and angst-free as possible and out of the courtroom. There is a dramatic difference between using a divorce mediator and/or moving forward in a collaborative divorce scenario and battling in court – and the latter is significantly more costly in terms of financial health, emotional well-being, and what’s in the best interest of your children.

Step One: Schedule a consultation with a divorce mediator

The first step is to schedule a pre-divorce session with a divorce mediator or lawyer specializing in collaborative divorces. Divorce mediation and collaborative divorces are both designed to support two people in navigating their divorce with the least amount of duress possible.

This one meeting, always fee-based, is a simple way to learn more about the paperwork required to move forward and how to organize your assets, debts, wishes, etc. We can also discuss any children in the mix and different options for handling child custody, visitation, and financial support.

Note: If you have step-children and they have a close relationship with you/your spouse, now is the time to discuss how to move forward with them. Consider legal paperwork outlining visitation parameters to keep those familial bonds intact, as that’s almost always in the child’s best interest.

Step Two: Schedule sessions with a therapist

If you aren’t seeing a therapist already, now is an excellent time to start. Weekly or every-other-week sessions provide the emotional support you need through the process. Also, your therapist knows that studies prove individuals and children fare best the less toxic the divorce proceedings are. By having a place to vent your emotional frustrations, anger, grief, etc., you can bring your highest self forward as you navigate the nuts and bolts of divorce proceedings.

If you have children, we strongly suggest providing family therapy. All children have a tough time, even in the smoothest and most collaborative of divorces. Regular sessions with a therapist support their well-being too.

Step Three: Consider legal separation if you’re “not quite sure”

If you are 100% sure you are getting divorced, then legal separation doesn’t make sense. However, many couples reach a point where they can’t imagine proceeding as things are – but they aren’t sure they want to make a permanent decision.

Divorce is a final step, so sometimes the right amount of space is necessary to re-group, work on the issues at hand, and determine whether or not that’s what you want. You can discuss the pros and cons of legal separation during your initial mediation session.

Step Four: Review any prenups

If you had a prenuptial agreement or any property agreements, now is the time to review those. This can help remind you what is already on paper so you can move forward with the rest of the asset/debt separation from there.

Step Five: List all of your assets and debts

As mentioned above, California is a community property state. This means you share all of the debts and assets acquired during the marriage except for heirlooms or gifts made personally to you. And, yes, that also means spouses are responsible for debt they didn’t know their spouse acquired during the marriage.

Your divorce paperwork requires a complete list of all assets and debts, including relevant account numbers, and is typically split 50/50 based on valuation. This division takes place in many forms. It may mean one person keeps the house while the other takes the majority of the retirement accounts. It might mean one person buys the other out to keep the house. It might mean one person takes two cars, and the other gets one, and so on.

If you can work together without contention, that’s always the best way forward, and you can bring those decisions to your final mediation session. Otherwise, we can do it together during mediation. If any discrepancies arise, I simply let you know what the court will most likely decide, and you can continue from there.

Step Six: Determine child custody, visitation, and support

If both of you remain local, and there is no history of serious domestic violence, substance abuse, mental health issues, etc., odds are you’ll have a 50/50 custody agreement with shared visitation and very little to no child support (child support in 50/50 custody agreements is only awarded if there is a significant difference in household incomes such that a child’s quality of life is diminished in one over the other).

If someone moves further away, other custody/visitation agreements should be agreed upon, which will become part of the legal record.

Step Seven: Finalize the divorce

Once all the decisions are made and the paperwork is complete, your divorce mediation lawyer files it with the court. The divorce becomes legal six months from the date it was stamped “Filed.”

Now, it’s time to move forward with all of the post-divorce steps you must take following the divorce agreement’s instructions. If your spouse does not do what was required by the final date, we’ll file a form to that effect, and the courts will handle it with them from there.

Law Offices Of Gerard A. Falzone Facilitates Hassle-Free Divorces

Here at the Law Offices of Gerard A. Falzone, we understand emotions are high during the dissolution of a marriage. However, that’s no reason for the divorce to become contentious or for proceedings to make your lives miserable. We work with Bay Area couples, helping them navigate hassle-free divorces, and achieving the best possible outcome for all involved. Contact us to schedule your divorce mediation session.

Who Is Responsible For The Debt In A Divorce?

who is responsible for the debt in a divorce In a community property state like California, divorce law handles assets and debts acquired during the marriage as a 50/50 responsibility. In some marriages, the allocation of who is paying what is more complicated than any other part of the divorce agreement, especially if there isn’t any property or significant assets to speak of.

Splitting Debt In A Divorce: Who Pays What?

Assuming there was no prenuptial agreement, any and all debt incurred prior to the marriage belongs to the individual who incurred the debt. Any debts acquired during the marriage are shared by both parties. This includes credit cards that are only in one or the other spouse’s name, debt one of the spouses may not have known about, and so on.

If determining who pays what is causing more tension or escalating emotions as you plan to divorce, I recommend scheduling a divorce mediation session ASAP. Working with a neutral third party who can review all of the debts and hear both sides can go a long way toward de-escalating the situation. Together, we can work on agreed payment plans that make sense based on your stories.

Are Any Debts Considered “Separate?”

Some debts are considered “separate:”

Debts brought into the marriage

If you had credit debt, an active car loan, a mortgage, etc., that was in your name before the marriage, they are held separately from the community property debt. Now, with something like a mortgage, there may be some gray area – especially if your spouse moved into the home and you made payments together. In that case, the courts may use a mathematical algorithm to determine how that property is divided.

In almost all cases, any debt brought into the marriage is considered separate, and the remaining payments are the responsibility of the original debt holder.

Debts in a divorce incurred after you legally separate

If your spouse is not good with money or has more debt than you do, we recommend pursuing a legal separation before you get divorced. This protects you from any spendthrifty ways that continue throughout the divorce proceedings. From the date of your legal separation, the court views any future debts or property acquisition as an individual and not part of the community property state.

So, for example, let’s say that your spouse moves out of the master bedroom and into a spare room or couch because you can’t afford separate places yet. In the meantime, s/he takes out a new credit card or purchases a new car in their name. You will be responsible for 50% of that debt, even though, as a couple, you’d agreed to be “separated.”

If you get legally separated, even if you have to live in the same house, their debt remains their debt, just as your new debt remains yours. There are some gray areas if that debt was used to pay share expenses or to purchase necessities for the children. However, common sense prevails when the court reviews expenditures either party balks at having to pay.

Am I Responsible For My Spouse’s Student Loan Debt In A Divorce?

Any student loans taken out before you were married remain separate from the community property pot. However, any new student loans taken out by either of you after marriage are considered shared debt. So, if you took out a loan to complete your undergraduate degree prior to getting married, you are 100% responsible for the remaining portion.

If you decide to pursue a higher education level and take out more student loans during the marriage, that portion of the debt is split 50/50 between both of you.

What If My Spouse Had Credit Cards I Didn’t Know About?

This happens all the time and can be earth-shattering for the spouse who was kept in the dark. Unfortunately, even hidden debts are your responsibility if they were taken on during the marriage and before legally separating. In some cases, judges may rule that traditionally shared debt will be handled as separate debt.

It could happen if there was a different p.o. Box or mailing address used or if the debt was used to pay for elicit content or illegal or nefarious services. Again, judges review this on a case-by-case basis. Remember that the same type of people who hide spending from their spouse often try to hide assets in the divorce. This is a big no-no. Hiding assets is illegal, and judges do not take it lightly.

If you suspect something like this has happened in your marriage, you may want to consider hiring a private investigator to run a complete asset search. If you find hidden assets and bring that evidence to light through your attorney, the judge is more likely to also rule in your favor on the hidden debts.

Work With A Divorce Attorney In Contentious Debt Situations

If there is a dispute about who should pay what when it comes to community debts, it’s best to work with a divorce attorney. Together, we’ll work to minimize the tension and come to a joint agreement that is in the best interest of both parties. Contact The Law Offices of Gerard A Falzone to learn more about divorce mediation services or to schedule a consultation.

Child Custody: Supervised Visitation In California

child custody supervised visitation in california In child custody cases, the child’s safety and well-being are the top priority of the family law court. If the judge feels a child’s physical or emotional health is at risk with one of the parents, they may order supervised visitation.

What Is Supervised Visitation?

This means the parent spends time with their child or children in the presence of a neutral third-party – called a “provider.” This person can either participate in the visit (if they have a relationship with the child) or remain close by to witness all of the physical interactions and verbal communication (more on providers below).

Situations That Lead To Supervised Visitation

Most supervised visitation orders occur when the judge knows or suspects the other parent:

Has been absent for most or most of a child’s life, or the child doesn’t have a relationship with the parent yet.
Has an alcohol, drug, or substance abuse problem.
Has a history of physical, verbal, or emotional abuse (domestic violence).
May have mental health issues that negatively impact their judgment and/or parenting decisions.
Is a kidnapping or flight risk.

In most cases, the overarching goal of supervised visits is to provide a safe space for the child and parent to bond and develop a healthy relationship while also providing the supervised parent with a plan for recovery or a structured, step-by-step protocol for gaining unsupervised visitation rights. However, there are times when supervised visits are permanent.

How Long And How Often Are The Visits?

The judge will order the frequency and duration of the visits. Some things govern this order, such as:

The parent’s work schedule.
Availability of the provider.
What seems healthiest and best for the children.
The age and needs of the children.
Any other factors the judge feels are relevant to the order.
The financial ability to pay for a professional provider’s time if that’s part of the order.

Who Can Serve As A Provider?

There are three types of supervised visitation providers: professional, therapeutic, and nonprofessional.

Professional provider

The judge may order a professional provider to supervise the visits in cases of domestic violence or serious mental illness. The provider will use the judge’s order and talk to you and the other parent to learn more about your story and the family history.

These providers are specially trained to handle complex family systems and how to interact and mitigate any negative impact on the child if something goes wrong during the visit. These providers typically work for an hourly fee, paid for by the non-custodial parent.

Therapeutic provider

Sometimes the judge might specify that a therapeutic provider is needed. This is likely if the supervised parent has a mental illness. You may also benefit from a therapeutic provider in cases where the relationship between the child and the non-custodial parent is dysfunctional, ruptured, or nonexistent.

Then, the therapeutic provider serves in a counseling capacity, helping the parent and child to nurture a healthy relationship, learn how to communicate, and may even support the parent in learning and practicing healthy parenting skills. As with a professional provider, therapeutic providers typically charge a fee paid for by the non-custodial parent.

Non-professional provider

In other cases, the judge may state a nonprofessional provider will suffice. This person will not have any training and is typically a trusted family member or friend. However, the court has strict guidelines about non-professional provider qualifications, including things like:

Being at least 21 years old.
No record of a DUI conviction in the past five years.
Holding a valid driver’s license, registered car, and insurance.
No record of a conviction for child molestation, child abuse, or other crimes against a person.
Not having civil, criminal, or juvenile restraining orders within the last ten years.
And the list goes on.

You can Click Here to learn more about the California Family Law Court’s laws and codes governing supervised visits and the roles/expectations of providers.

When can you stop having supervised visits?

Once supervised visits are court-ordered, that order remains in place under the terms of the order. In some cases, there may be stipulations – like the non-custodial parent must show proof of certain things (sobriety and regular participation in a recovery program or completing a series of anger management classes, etc.). Once the non-custodial parent submits the proof asked for by the court, the court may issue a new visitation order.

Throughout the duration of the court order, the custodial parent must comply with the supervised visitation schedule. If the custodial parent wants to cease supervised visitation for any reason – whether to end visits altogether or to allow the non-custodial parent to have unsupervised visits, they must file a request for modification through the court.

In the meantime, the current order remains in place and must be honored. If you believe the visits are doing more harm than good for your child, we recommend working with a family law attorney. You’ll have to provide very specific evidence or proof before a court considers terminating visitation rights altogether.

Do Supervised Visits Continue If The Non-Custodial Parent Doesn’t Pay Child Support?

There is absolutely no connection between child support payments and child visitation orders. If the non-custodial parent is in arrears (the term for skipping payments or making incomplete payments), you’ll need to pursue that through the family law courts. They’ll work with the non-custodial parent to issue payments, even if that means garnishing wages, freezing bank accounts, or even suspending their driver’s license or passport privileges.

Regardless, the current child custody and visitation order remains in place, and lack of payment never alters that.

The Law Offices Of Gerard A. Falzone Can Help Establish Healthy Supervised Visitation

Do you feel supervised visitations are essential to the health and well-being of your child? Or do you feel the custodial parent is exaggerating and that supervised visitation is unfair in your situation? The Law Offices of Gerard A. Falzone is here to help. We’ll listen to your situation and make recommendations on how to confidently move forward with the safety, health, and well-being of your children as the top priority. Contact us to schedule a consultation.

Hiding Assets In A Divorce

hiding assets in a divorce As a community property state, California divorces include asset division. This means a married couple going through a divorce must document their individual and joint financial accounts, properties, collectibles/toys of worth, etc., and divide them 50/50 or in some similar version they agree upon.

Assets & Divorce: Don’t Hide Them

The division of assets is one of the most contentious aspects of most divorce proceedings. It’s one of the reasons we recommend pursuing mediation before hiring individual lawyers. In most cases, divorce mediation simplifies the process of asset division in a calm and methodical way. By keeping tempers under control, those tempted to hide assets due to anger or resentment opt not to.

Regardless, the ins and outs of your financial and other assets are all included in the divorce process.

Why People Might Be Hiding Assets?

Sometimes, a husband or wife finds ways to hide their assets to keep them out of the divorce proceedings. Unless they are assets owned before the marriage, part of an inheritance, or were previously isolated in a prenuptial agreement, hiding assets is illegal. So it’s understandable why some people are tempted to hide them.

For example, if you didn’t take proper precautions to protect your small business before you married, your spouse may have rights to 50% of it, which can feel unfair (but is legally the norm). Maybe you worked side jobs for years, putting money away while your spouse never worked – you may think that money is entitled to be yours. Or, perhaps you always paid off all your debts while your spouse was a serial shopper and owes thousands you didn’t know about on credit cards. Shouldn’t you be entitled to more credits while he takes over his individually acquired debts? Unfortunately, that’s not how it works in a community property state.

Examples Of Hidden Assets

The reasons for hiding assets are numerous but resist temptation. Odds are you’ll find out, and you’ll be found out – and that can mean big trouble. Judges do not rule lightly on individuals who hide assets. In many cases, the judge bypasses the normal 50/50 split and awards the entirety or a significant portion of the hidden assets to the other party. Depending on how assets were hidden, individuals may spend jail time.

In most cases, hiding assets isn’t a matter of burying family suitcases of cash or establishing an account in the Caymans. Usually., it involves simpler but equally sneaky methods. These include:

Hiding, undervaluing, or understating marital property

Many couples live in a single home, share everything, and know about each other’s personal acquisitions. However, others live separate and independent lives within the marriage, which means they can acquire things of value their spouse is unaware of.

Or, one person may be a collector and know that particular possessions or collectibles are worth far more than the spouse is aware. In that case, they may undervalue those and request them in the divorce proceedings – making it appear equitable. Their partner agrees, and the one who knows the actual value winds up with more.

Overstating debts

Some people may overstate their debts or withdraw cash through credit card advances. In that case, the debt is shared, but the liquid cash value remains in the possession of only one person. Sometimes people also claim debts they never had – like fake loans to a friend or family member.

Gifting money to friends or relatives

Maybe one spouse had a savings or investment account the other wasn’t aware of. They can liquidate those accounts, give the money to friends or relatives for the duration of the divorce proceedings, and then get them back when the divorce is final.

Hiding assets in a business

Business owners can easily hide assets; they can shelter financial assets, postpone lucrative deals, or create imaginary expenses or employees they’re paying – all to hide money that their spouse is equally entitled to. Sometimes people collude with fellow colleagues or employees and delay bonuses, or they pay willing accomplices (friends, family members, employees) for services never rendered – using that as an expense OR as a holding that’s returned after the finalized divorce.

Hiding financial accounts

It’s not uncommon in marriages for one person to handle all or most of the financial affairs. Then, as things begin to go south, or as divorce proceedings loom large, they may close accounts or fail to disclose the accounts on legal financial disclosure forms required as part of the divorce process. We’ve also seen cases where a client’s spouse created accounts in their children’s names, using their social security numbers, and then withdrew all of the money back after the divorce.

This list could go on and on. The point is that if you’re going through a divorce, and you suspect there’s any chance a spouse is hiding assets, take action.

How To Find Hidden Assets During A Divorce

There are several different ways to find hidden assets during a divorce.

Using your legal team’s support

As lawyers, we know what questions to ask and which documents to request to determine whether our clients’ suspicions are correct. In some cases, the individual automatically gives in, or the tax records, financial documents, or statements we request are the proof we need.

Other times, we can have a client’s spouse undergo a deposition. This process is done under oath, and any evidence later on that the person was lying is punishable by law. This is usually enough to get most people to tell the truth.

Private investigators have asset search techniques

If your spouse is particularly wily, you should invest in a private investigator specializing in asset searches. They use all kinds of software and forensic accounting techniques to locate accounts or records that may be challenging to get otherwise.

Hiring an appraiser

If the assets are tangible, and you know nothing about them (even “junk” your spouse wants in the divorce), an appraiser is an affordable and neutral way to learn the real value of everything you own between you, making for a much more equitable split.

Work With An Experienced Divorce Attorney If You Suspect Hidden Assets

If you suspect your spouse is hiding assets in the divorce, contact an experienced divorce attorney immediately. The Law Offices of Gerard A. Falzone is here to find out if anything sneaky is happening and ensure your marital assets are divided as equitably as possible.

What Is A Summary Dissolution?

what is a summary dissolution There are multiple ways to get divorced, some of which are simpler than others. A summary dissolution falls on the “simpler” end of the divorce spectrum. However, the process is only recommended for couples who meet specific criteria.

Summary Dissolution (Divorce) Explained

Most people consider divorces as long, complicated, and emotionally drawn out. While that is true in some cases, especially when couples disagree about how to divide assets or the arrangement of child custody and visitation decisions, some divorces don’t require the same level of paperwork and processing.

In that case, a summary dissolution is a potential option. The word dissolution means divorce, and it’s the term used by the court system. Most divorces in California use the regular dissolution process. According to the California Family Law Courts, a summary dissolution “…is a shorter and easier way…With this procedure, you will not have to appear in court. You may not need a lawyer, but it is in your best interest to see a lawyer about ending your marriage or domestic partnership.”

However, only some qualify. This is a good time to connect with a family law professional and learn whether or not summary dissolution is the right way to go for your divorce. You’ll probably need a single consultation, which can be done on a fee-only divorce mediation basis.

You May Qualify For A Summary Dissolution If…

Here are the qualifiers to move forward with a summary dissolution in California, and you must meet ALL of the criteria.

You meet the residency requirements

One of you must have lived in California for the last six months and in the county where you file for summary dissolution for the last three months (this does not apply to domestic partnerships; you may end your domestic partnership registered in CA whether you live here or not as long as you meet the additional criteria).

You do not have children together

Summary dissolutions use fewer divorce documents than a regular divorce. These add additional layers of processing and potential complications and are not part of the summary dissolution arrangement. If you have children together who are under 18 years of age (biological, foster, or adopted), you’ll need to move forward with a regular divorce.

That said, if you are both in agreement with zero to very minimal disputes or areas of concern, I highly recommend you work with a divorce and child custody mediator. It makes the process almost as simple as summary dissolution – and far more affordable than when you each retain an individual lawyer.

You have been married and/or in a domestic partnership five years or less

If the date you married or registered your domestic partnership and the date you officially separated from your legal spouse or domestic partner is less than five years ago, a summary dissolution will work. However, if that date is even a single day past the five-year point, you’ll need a regular divorce.

You own very little

Again, regular divorce proceedings handle any number of assets and asset values; summary dissolutions are designed for simplicity. Therefore you cannot:

Own any real estate at all. This includes properties you’ve inherited or have your name on the title.
If you rent or lease a living space, the rental agreement or lease must end within one calendar year of the dissolution.
You have less than $47,000 worth of assets together and separately (assets include bank balances and furnishings owned). Cars are excluded

You can use FL 810 Worksheet VI to determine whether or not you still qualify based on what you own both separately and together.

You don’t owe very much

You cannot owe more than $6000 (excluding car loans) from the day you were legally joined until the day you legally separated.

Neither person wants spousal/domestic partner support

You cannot proceed with summary dissolution processes if either person wants or expects to receive spousal or domestic partner support. As with child custody and visitation agreements, spousal/domestic partner support entails extra documentation and processing.

You’re in complete agreement about the divorce

Everything must be agreed upon 100%. This means:

You both fully support the divorce.
Neither expects spousal or domestic partner support.
You agree about how the assets/property (totaling less than $47,000) is being split.

If all of these apply to you, and you’ve consulted with a family law specialist to ensure you qualify, you have the green light to move forward with a summary dissolution.

What’s Needed To Complete A Summary Dissolution?

If you opt not to consult with a lawyer or family law mediator, the court provides DIY Summary Dissolution Instructions online. This includes a list of the forms you’ll need to complete and file with your county of residence (or the county where your domestic partnership was filed if you live outside the state):

Joint Petition for Summary Dissolution (Form FL-800)
Judgment of Dissolution and Notice of Entry of Judgment (Form FL-825)

Once those are filed by the court, the summary dissolution is finalized in six months. If one of you wants to back out and stop the proceedings, you’ll file a Notice of Revocation of Petition for Summary Dissolution (FL-830). However, if the other party still wants the divorce, the process starts over again through regular divorce proceedings.

Learn Whether Or Not You Qualify For A Summary Dissolution

Are you in a legal marriage or domestic partnership where both parties are on board with divorce and you feel you meet the criteria for a summary dissolution? Then, schedule a consultation with the Law Offices of Gerard A. Falzone. For a single, affordable fee, we will ensure you qualify, fill out all the necessary forms, and file them with the courts to ensure your divorce is finalized without being kicked back due to a paperwork error.

If it turns out you don’t meet all of the criteria, our divorce mediation proceedings are the next best thing, which saves hundreds or thousands of dollars by streamlining the regular divorce paperwork process and keeping you away from hefty lawyer fees or time wasted in court. Contact us to get started.

Is Permission Needed To Travel With Minor Children?

is permission needed to travel with minor children

Are you planning a solo trip with a minor child out of the state or country? If so, make sure you have all of the documentation required. Whether married or divorced, specific paperwork eases the way in case curious travel agents or security personnel have questions.

If you’re divorced, legal paperwork is a must, or you could be denied the ability to travel until you have everything they need to ensure your co-parent is on board with the trip.

5 Documents To Have With You When Travel With Minor Children

Here are five documents parents should have on hand when traveling with minor children and without the other parent. Even if you’re married, and especially if your child has a different last name, we recommend following the same guidelines as a parent who is divorced or part of a child custody agreement to prevent any potential delays or hiccups along the way.

If you are a grandparent, relative, or a friend’s parents, you’ll need to be extra careful you have all of the right documents in order.

A U.S. passport

If you’re traveling out of the county, your child must have a passport. This includes infants and toddlers. Infant and child passports must be renewed every five years until they turn 16, after which passport renewal shifts to every 10 years. Visit the U.S. Department of State’s website for specific instructions on how to obtain a child’s passport.

Tips for obtaining a U.S. passport for infants and children. Keep in mind that passport processing times are as long as nine weeks after the application is approved. So the sooner you apply, the better. Also, while the U.S. Department of State advertises expedited passports in three to five-week windows (for which you pay extra), I’ve known clients whose expedited passports didn’t arrive in time. We recommend applying for a new passport at least 10 to 12 weeks before you travel with minor children, if possible.

Things to know:

Both parents must participate in the passport application process (if that’s not possible, the U.S. Passport website has separate instructions for handling that).
You’ll need your child’s birth certificate or proof of U.S. citizenship, social security card, and both parent’s legal IDs
A photocopy of U.S. citizenship evidence
Proof of the parental relationship (typically the birth certificate or adoption decree suffices)

Don’t assume it will go swimmingly the first time you apply. Agents reviewing passport applications must adhere to the letter of the law, so it may take more than once to ensure you have everything you need.

A copy of your child custody order

If you’re legally separated or divorced, you’ll need a copy of your child custody order and agreements to prove you have legal custody/visitation with your child.

If you hired a lawyer or mediator, odds are your child custody/visitation agreement includes information about out-of-state or travel abroad. However, most couples completing a DIY divorce forget to cover all of the future bases. If your agreement doesn’t include verbiage about out-of-state trips or travel abroad, contact a family law specialist and modify the agreement through the courts. This can be as simple as one mediation meeting, after which we’ll file the new documents for you.

Complete a minor travel consent form (and have it notarized)

Whether you think you need it or not, complete a Minor Travel Consent Form whenever you’re traveling out of state or abroad with a minor. It’s always better to have more than you need when it comes to child safety and others’ understandable concerns.

Click Here to print and complete Rocket Lawyer’s boiler-plate Minor Travel Concent form for California. Their easy-to-fill-out form takes you step-by-step through a series of questions and then populates the form for you. I also recommend going together (or individually if necessary) and having the form notarized by both parents or legal guardians. This makes it that much more official and removes any suspicion that a signature is forged.

Make multiple copies and put them in your purse/backpack, carry-on, checked bags, and have one in the child’s travel bags as well.

When you travel with minor children don’t forget their birth certificate or ID for children under two

Because most airlines allow children two years old and younger to fly free, they want to see proof. Therefore, if any travel tickets (or lack thereof) rely on the fact you’re traveling with a child who’s two or younger, bring copies of their birth certificate, a valid passport, or another valid form of ID in case agents want to verify.

Medical treatment consent, insurance information, & contacts

Finally, you’ll want to have a file with printed copies of the following:

Medical treatment consent forms for minor children. If you’re a step-parent, grandparent, or non-legal guardian, have the child(ren)’s legal parents complete. Your pediatrician can point you in the right direction, supporting you with any information about existing health conditions, allergies, current medications etc. You can also find general forms online, like this one, from LegalDepot.com.

Copies of health insurance cards. Make sure you have multiple copies of both the front and back sides of the child’s current health insurance card. The medical record number and carrier’s phone number should be legible.

List of key contacts in case of an emergency. These are listed on the travel consent form, but it’s always good to have an extra copy of any essential contacts in case of emergency.

Getting Ready To Travel Without Your Child(ren)’s Parent(s)?

Do you want to make sure you have all the forms, proof, and paperwork you need to travel out of the state or country without your child(ren)’s other legal parent or guardian? Then, schedule a consultation with the Law Offices of Gerard Falzone. We’ll help you update your child custody and visitation agreement to keep traveling as simple as possible.