There is no perfect time for a divorce, but when divorce proceedings coincide with a child heading into college – or one already there – things can be more complicated.
While you still think of your college student as a child, the courts typically view children 18 and over as legal adults, and that means most child support orders dissolve after their 18th birthday unless the custody agreement states otherwise.
College Expenses During Divorce: How to Create a Health Parenting Agreement
This means you and your ex-spouse (or soon-to-be) should discuss how you plan to help a child manage college expenses during the divorce.
If you’re having difficulty navigating the conversation without spiraling into an argument, think about enlisting support from a divorce mediator who can help facilitate an open, healthy, and respectful dialogue as you craft the terms of your divorce and child custody agreement.
Here are some tips on how to move forward.
Get clear about what’s financially reasonable after the divorce
A single household’s expenses are usually more affordable to maintain than the two households created after a divorce. Before finalizing your divorce agreement, have open communication about what’s realistically possible when it comes to your children’s college education.
It may be that things have to shift. So, we recommend having conversations that take a realistic, objective view of:
- What’s reasonable or even possible once finances and assets are divided and you live on individual incomes?
- What expenses do you each consider necessary? While you and your ex-spouse may agree on splitting the tuition 50/50 (or whatever split makes sense for your income), you may hold differing views around what constitutes a necessary expense. Try to iron out which expenses each parent feels they should contribute to so there aren’t negative responses if one or the other refuses to pay for specific expenditures.
- What other resources could be used to support the goal (student loans, parent loans, loans from grandparents/other family members, scholarships, grants, etc.)?
- Which college expenses you can and can’t cover (tuition, room and board, books/fees, spending money, car expenses, etc.)?
- Limitations that would be placed on these fees (for example, you may agree you’re both willing to split the $12,000/year tuition at a state college vs. the $45,000/year tuition at a private university).
Answers to these questions can help you clarify what’s feasible for your child(ren) in the future.
If your child is approaching college age, you can have a final conversation with them to explain what (if anything) has changed and how you plan to approach it. It’s not always easy, but young adults fare best when they know the full picture and are prepared for what their future decisions will mean for you as parents and for them as students pursuing academia.
Does it make sense to include college expenses in the child custody agreement?
A child custody agreement is a legal document, and you and your spouse are beholden to what the court orders (barring modifications). While it’s true that most child custody agreements automatically terminate once a child turns 18, you can have college expenses become a part of the agreement beforehand – the same way you might include things like health insurance expenses.
If you’re getting divorced and you plan to help your children with college expenses, discuss your expectations with your divorce mediation attorney or lawyer and have college expense expectations included in the child custody agreement. Setting a base amount paid from one party to the other provides a stable foundation of what funds are available.
From there, managing college expenses during the divorce can be a fluid conversation between you and your child moving forward, which is why cultivating healthy co-parenting communication is essential.
Examples of how to handle managing college expenses via your divorce agreement include:
- A 50/50 split of all expenses directly related to education (tuition, dorm/meal fees, books, etc.).
- Proportional split of expenses based on income (this method uses an algorithm that determines how much is paid based on a parent’s income).
- Depositing a specific amount into a designated college savings fund (which could also be a 529 or investment fund).
- Put the value of a marital asset into a college fund and consider that the final contribution (unless you choose to pay more later).
You can also forgo putting anything in the divorce agreement and agree not to obligate a set amount in the future. The idea of paying for your child’s college education is well-intentioned but simply may not be possible, depending on what the future holds. So, you also have the right to leave any financial commitment after they turn 18 out of the divorce agreement with the intent to contribute what you can once the time comes.
Understand that college expenses during divorce (and marriage) are variable (and conditional)
Unlike child support calculations for a minor, there is no mathematical algorithm or calculator used by the California divorce courts to determine the amount you should contribute to a college-aged child. Supporting an adult child through college or trade school is a parent’s personal choice.
College tuition fees and expenses are highly variable, depending on things like:
- Whether a child attends a community, state, private university, trade school, etc.
- The number of units taken each semester/quarter.
- Are they attending a local or out-of-state college?
- Are travel funds required to get them home/back during vacations?
- Do you plan to pay for their vehicle or transportation?
- What if they decide to travel abroad?
- What happens if they take gap years and college loan payments kick in?
- What if they fail classes or don’t graduate?
A wide range of variables affects college expenses, and each parent has the right to limit what they contribute depending on how they feel about each one.
The Law Offices of Gerard A. Falzone Can Help You Navigate Who Pays What
In our experience, most parents have nothing but the best intentions when managing college expenses during a divorce and afterward. However, we also understand that these conversations aren’t always easy or seamless.
The Law Offices of Gerard A. Falzone offer divorce and child custody mediation, making the divorce process as minimally stressful as possible. That includes scaffolding conversations around what’s possible – and realistic – for funding a child’s college fees after a divorce and providing examples of what other clients have done. Contact us to schedule a free consultation to see if we can help.